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office space

I went to lunch with an old colleague the other day. Oh, just saying the word makes me giddy...Colleague.
See, I have been out of the workforce for about 11 months now and it already seems like a lifetime. It was one of those nice long leisurely lunches I remember - focusing on the conversation and food. Ahhh...
We actually talked business, the reason I was invited. After a few moments of getting the tune of the day (ring around the rosy or something like that) out of my head - I was back. I had the lingo, the ideas flowing, the perspectives on unruly employees. It felt so good.
I do miss working. I am jealous when my old co-workers can't meet as they are in Miami at a conference, working late together to meet a deadline, having drinks after a long day. There are days when I dream of being in charge of something other than a nap schedule, a puddle of spit-up, teething remedies.
But then, I think about my babies faces when they bang the drum in music class, their smiles when I go get them after a nap, the sweet way they explore my face when I feed them a bottle.

No way, I am not going to touch the working mom/stay at home mom debate with a 10-foot pole. What I will say is this: When I was struggling with my decision 11 months ago, a very smart person told me you have to make your choice on what suits your family. And, I agree, every family is different.
For our particular situation (infertility, twins, bed rest, preemies, nicu) I did consider going back to work but when I started interviewing nannies all I could think was - so this is the person that is going to spend the day with my babies. This lady will be having all the fun, see them smile and laugh and know that this cry means gas and not hunger. It was an easy decision after that.

So for now I will take the long lunch and savor it. Maybe use some spare moments and brainstorm new ideas I have for down the road. I'll sit and watch them learn to climb up the new slide and clap their hands at the top. I'll wipe up the spit-up puddle, the snotty noes. And, stay in my pajamas until... hmm I won't say.

merry merry

The holiday picture attempt in which Hudson discovers snow and decides he is not a fan.

shake it

I find myself singing a lot lately - interesting, classic numbers like "Open Shut Them", "Patty Cake", "If You're Happy and You Know It".
In the last week the babies have started "dancing". You can't really call it dancing since they don't walk but when they hear a good song they like to shake their booties right where they are.

Here is a good one of Hudson - I will try and get more of Miss L tomorrow...

chrismukkah

How to delicately approach the sensitive topic of the holidays? I am going to give it a shot.

Growing up in the New York area, I felt surrounded by people who celebrated every holiday - from Christmas to Hanukkah to one lone person in my elementary class celebrating Kwanzaa. We were brought up Jewish and belonged to a reform temple in the area. We spent a lot of time with this community and I have very fond and distinct memories singing with the cantor at temple Friday nights, Hebrew school, the high holidays.

During the winter holidays however, being part of a interfaith family, we celebrated both Christmas and Hanukkah. I would tell everyone this was the best of both worlds - heck the more presents the better. But inside I was pretty confused - why was Santa coming to our house when he knew we were Jewish? Was this making me less Jewish? My other Jewish friends certainly didn't have a Christmas tree in their house.

So, here I am with kids facing my first attempt at the winter holidays. I have to preface this with a small truth that every year I turn into a bit of a grinch. I want to have sugar plum fairies dancing in my head but constantly feel myself getting annoyed with the population's assumption that everyone celebrates Christmas. And, I can't help but think it's somewhat regional. There simply aren't as many Jews out here in Colorado.

Am I "sooooo excited for Christmas this year?" the checkout lady asks. Ummm, No. Am I humming along to "It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas" for the 50th time? Not exactly. I guess what I want is for people to imagine a world where not everyone celebrates Christmas - there are others out there.

We have decided to raise our little ones Jewish - so in our home we are celebrating Hanukkah. With Damon's family we will celebrate Christmas. With mine, Hanukkah.

My goal this season is not to become the grinch for the sake of my kids - in a couple years they will look around with excitement and wonder in their eyes and certainly ask if Santa is coming down our chimney. I will need to have a good answer for them.

My hope is they don't feel my holiday confusion and resentment. I want them to know this time of year is for (the overly cliched) holiday spirit of family, friends, being kind to others. Of giving, and being thankful and getting together. Oh yeah, and also a "Happy Hannukah!" when the checkout lady wishes us yet another Merry Christmas.

Here is today's attempt....

How they're...

Different*:

Layla finds most things funny, but you can make Hudson laugh and laugh.
Hudson loves his bottle and his blanket, Layla is ok to do without.
Layla loves all kinds of foods - she eats whatever we put on her tray, Hudson is a bit more picky and it takes him a few tries to get used to. Pineapple is still too much for him.
Hudson resists sleep but then quickly passes out, Layla winds herself down in her crib softly chatting and then falls asleep - and stays asleep for longer.
Layla loves a good snuggle, can sit in your arms and just look at a toy, her hands or mine, Hudson is go-go-go and his nick-name should really be Tigger.
Layla notices detail and is in love with her Daddy (mommy too but you should see her face when daddy walks in the room), Hudson plows through everything and I like to think is a mama's boy.

The same*:
They both love Baby Einstein - they literally freeze in their places to stare at the TV when it comes on. (doesn't every kid?)
They are both so goofy - they interact with each other and make the other one laugh many times during the day.
They both love exploring around the house together - finding new things (rolls of paper towels) to play with.
They both hate diaper changes, getting clothes on, and the cold moments after a warm bath.


*Today only -the way they change so fast I can't be responsible if all this changes by tomorrow...

smackdown

HB is a bit of a bruiser - he steam rolls over his sister if she is in his way, steals her toys and her bottle. She is learning to stand up for herself though.

turkey day

Eating, cooking, talking, drinking -just about sums it up. Did I say eating?

thank full

Last year right at this time I was put on modified bed rest due to my contractions and pre-term labor at 25 weeks. We cancelled our annual feast with 20-something people and my in-laws, sis & bro in-law lovingly brought over a beautiful meal for us.
It was a quiet day - not the usual craziness.
We were scared. No, make that terrified, that I would go into full labor and have 25 week old babies or an unthinkable worse situation.
I can't help but look back and think - what was the universe trying to tell us? Not only did we have to wait over two years to get pregnant but to top it off early labor, bed rest, fear of losing it all. I'll stop there and save my lamenting about this topic for another post.

This post is about being thankful. Thankful because without our struggle I am just not sure we would have this much gratitude to have these two little ones in our lives. No, thankful doesn't even cover it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

yo tooth fairy

Thankfully, my mom saved this funny letter, scanned it and sent it to me a few days ago.
First of all I am begging the fairy herself to "write back". When would she find the time with all that tooth collecting? What would she say?
Second, I can almost hear my New York accent in full force - "hey fairy lady, spaya me a cupulla dollas will ya?
And wait a second -now that I think about it how did my mom get this from the Tooth Fairy? Very suspicious.

standing O

They learned a new trick this week.
Sharing? No.
Mopping the floors? Nooo.
Sitting quietly with a book while I nap. Nope.
Standing! Yayyyyyyyyy. (The biggest word in my vocabulary these days)
Hudson can actually pull himself up on the table. And Layla is not too far behind him. Amazing babies.

a new bow, a new hairstyle, a new day

Mr. Puma

A few days ago I found out one of my teachers from high school passed away. He found out he had stomach cancer in April and passed away September 13th of this year.

Before having kids, I should have suspected there would be this constant reminder of my own vitality. Although none of the parenting books, friends/family advice or intuition prepared me to this alarming detail. It's too overwhelming to process for very long. It's always the same thought: "but they need ME".

I am in the process of writing his wife a note to express how sorry I am. I want her to know he was such an amazing teacher and he will be missed. I want her to know when I heard this heartbreaking news - thinking about my teacher having six months to say goodbye to his family and praying his young kids will be okay without him - I hugged my kids a little tighter, played with them a little longer.

Because we only have this moment.

then this one.

then this one.

This post is dedicated to Mr. Puma - he was my teacher and he was my friend.

freewheelin

Nothing gets me much more excited than a new fleet of ride-on vehicles we just inherited from all of the cousins. Come spring, I see myself lining these cars out in the driveway much like a classic episode of MTV cribs. Cue the music and me shining up my cars. Ohh yeah - check it neighbors.

For entertainment and cuteness, we tested out two babies smushed inside together - of course Hudson took the wheel. A little too tight and the door would not close.

Then, they happily get to drive their own.

And in a perfectly timed moment while Daddy snaps away...

I swear we were laughing with him, not at him. Oh, and in case you might be concerned, he wasn't hurt at all - I grabbed him before he let go of his steering wheel death grip.

if they could talk

"You have a little something on your face."




"Oh, how embarressing, where?"




"Right there."

"Here? Did I get it?"

"No, up a little, a little left, no - a bit lower. Yup, good enough"

the monkeys

What can I say about Halloween?
It was chaos mixed with fun mixed with sugar-laden monsters (AND darth vader, rainbow care bear, mini mouse, luke skywalker, elmo, a fairy princess, elvira, a turtle, the monkeys, and of course buzz lightyear) We were running, literally running from house to house to keep up with the crew.
Even when Darth (he lets me call him that) crashed and burned down some stairs, he cried while sprinting to the next house. There is just no time for tears when free snickers are being passed out! I hear there is enough candy to last for maybe a few months days a day.
To infinity and beyond for sure.

here we come

swingin

We had a tire swing growing up. It was down a steep trail behind our house. There was a little playhouse cabin there too where my cousin Lori and I used to hide our treasures (I will save that for a different post).

The tire swing seemed like a good idea and I remember spending an awful lot of time down there - but unfortunately for us physics was not on our side. After a big push the tire would swing back and forth a couple times but eventually would circle back - right towards the trunk - slamming us against it. I distinctly remember putting my feet out - an effort to avoid a collision but it would only violently cause us to spin out of control. Oh those were the days.

Anyway, I installed a swing in our kitchen/hallway and the babies love it. It reminded me of those days - except that I try not to let the babies hit any walls or trees.

video

Try the video again posted below under "silly monkeys" - I fixed it.
Next up I will catch them as they steal toys from each other - it's great entertainment (for now). Here is a preview: